4 Tips To Get Through Valentine's Day After A Loss

 It’s February the month of love, candy, flowers, all the things wonderful. But what if your life doesn’t feel wonderful. Some people are grieving the loss of a loved one and they don’t have the wonderful feelings about Valentine’s Day that others do. It might be your first Valentine’s Day after the death of a spouse, child, close friend, co-worker or it might be years later. You may feel emotional, sad, hurt, lost, heartbroken and feel like you will never love again. I am here to give you hope that you will get through it! I have included a few ways that have helped me after I lost my son Tyler 11 years ago.

1.       Listen to your body- It’s ok to not want to go out or be with others on Valentine’s Day. It is normal to feel tired or sad. Listen to your body if you are tired stay home for a movie night or go out then come home early or what about lighting a candle and taking a long bath to relax.  

2.       Be a Valentine- Sometimes the cure for loneness isn’t receiving but giving. Who can you bless with something that was special to your loved one. Could you send someone a gift card for lunch, coffee, leave flowers or a balloon for someone at work or school. Giving may help you heal & remember.

3.      You are not alone- It’s easy and normal to have feelings of loneliness, self-pity, anger, sadness now that your special loved one is gone. Remember that you have friends, family, and so many others who want to help. Let them! Let them take you out or stay home to enjoy time together playing games or sharing special memories.  

4.      Find the positive- After a loss it is easy to always look at the negative, sad or bad situations which can easily spiral us in the wrong direction. What if you decided to find that one positive in your day. I know you are thinking how is that even possible? Well, it is! There is always something good, something positive you just have to look. It can be as simple as I brushed my teeth, I got dressed, I ate, I went to work, and the list goes on. I promise you, if you start by looking for the one positive thing you then start to see two, then three, then four and your mood will change and life will feel a little better. Baby step is sometimes all we can do. Try it.